


Tales from the Pizzeria

by Gears112



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Dealing with animatronics, Fluff, Gen, Ghosts, Many AUs, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, winging this as i go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13973733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gears112/pseuds/Gears112
Summary: Series of Drabbles, oneshots, and ideas to help me flesh out the Five Nights at Freddy's universe, as well as playing with other people's AUs





	1. Parlour AU: Damnit Jonathan, Hide your stuff better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in the WMHB AU of the Parlour AU (found on fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction.tumblr.com)

.

“There’s a lot of things for doggies in here...but where’s all the doggies?”

“Maybe he had a lot of dogs?”

“Perhaps he’s hoping to get puppies for you guys?” Jonathan paled as he heard the voices of his children in the shared bedroom of him and his lovers. 

“Mike! Faith! Check it! I found these swords!” Jonathan wiped his face as he heard the excited voices of the older children taking a look at the ‘swords’. “I call this one! There’s a cannon on this one!”

“These are some weird looking swords though…” Mike pointed out and Violet scoffed.

“Whatever, maybe they’re rare swords.” Jonathan let out a groan as Vincent walked towards him.

“Jonathan, is something-”

“Avast ye scoundrels! Prepare the boats! We’ve got to take this treasures back to the captain!”

“Aye!!” Three children and a toddler carrying a variety of sex toys running by the two adults with a mere “Hi dad” or “Hi Poppa” or a “Hi Mr. Fitzgerald” as they ran past. Vincent watched them run by with an open mouth before turning to Jonathan.

“Jonathan…”

“I know.”

“Didn’t Mahogany tell you…”

“Yes. I know.” Vincent couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You are going to get an ‘I told you’, you know.” Jonathan nodded, his face a neon red.

“Yes, I know...I’m preparing myself now…”


	2. Night Shenanigans 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some of the misadventures that happen off canon during the night shifts.

...

“I’mma Freddy Fazbear, I like dance and sing~” Mike looked from the tablet in confusion. “I’m a lot better than the bunny and that chicken, and much much better that stupid smelly fox~” Mike blinked slowly.

“That can’t be in his coding…” Mike said slowly, looking at the cameras; Chica was in the hallway, though she was turning towards the stage. A couple of clicks later, Mike found Bonnie storming out of the parts and service closet, and Foxy poking his head out of the curtains, looking pretty irritated for an animatronic fox. Mike closed the door before flipping to the stage where Freddy appeared to be performing, unaware of the bunny and chicken coming towards the bear. “Hoo boy...I’m not paid enough for this…” He sighed before snickering. "But hey, at least I'm going to get a good show for it..."

.

* * *

 

.

“What is she saying?”

“I don’t know, he keeps whining at me….” BB bit back an eyeroll as he overheard the animatronic bear and rabbit speak as Mangle whined at Freddy as she crawled by; so much for advanced A.I. He watched as Mangle huffed and headed down the hallway for the fox to ask the Freddy down the hall to throw the squeak toy and play fetch. Though now that he thought about it, it did seem weird that the Freddy down the hall only appeared at night.

“Maybe he’s like a rental Freddy…” BB muttered before deciding to head down the hall. “Maybe he and this Freddy can swap one day; would definitely stop the complaining at least.”

.

* * *

 

.

“CHECKMATE!!!! I WIN BABY!!!

“NU-UH, I won!” Michael wiped his face as he stepped into the tiny ‘office’; today is going to be a good day, isn’t it? He walked over to the Funtime Auditorium and hit the lights, illuminating the scene; Funtime Foxy was on the stage, sitting in a way that made Michael question his father’s design choices, watching as Baby and Funtime Freddy were playing what looked to be a board game.

“Huh…” Michael said slowly. “That’s...a thing...I guess.” He turned off the light and pulled up the HandUnit. “Alright you piece of junk, what do I have to do today?”


	3. Say Goodnight Gracie!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trio of tales where the guards decided a little cat-nap before work would be to their advantage. Needless to say, it works, but not in the way expected....

...

“How did a little kid get in here so late?” Chica cooed softly as she peered into the office, seeing the guard sleeping, curled up in the chair, his hat on top the cupcake and his jacket on top of him like a makeshift blanket. “Poor little fella…”

“Maybe we should take him to the stage till the manager gets back?” Bonnie asked, getting properly shushed as the guard stirred slightly. “Sorry, sorry!” Freddy sighed.

“We should just let him stay there until his parents get here.” Chica made an angry bird chirp, swatting at the ‘careless’ bear and carefully walked into the office, picking up the guard, who snorted slightly, adjusting himself against the soft bird. Chica bit back a squeal; it had been far too long since any child was allowed to touch her and she missed being able to ‘mother hen’ the children. She gleefully ignored Freddy’s annoyed look as she took the guard to the stage, where they could keep an eye on him till the manager came in and confuse the poor animatronics when he fell over laughing when he saw what they did.

.

* * *

.

“Help. Me.” Toy Chica couldn’t help but giggle at the Marionette’s unhappy face as the night guard, Jeremy Michael Fitzgerald Age 17, snuggled against the puppet like it was a teddy bear. She tried to become serious, though it was difficult considering how cat-like the puppet was acting.

“How d-did this happen?”

“I thought it would be clever idea to get him as soon as it became midnight...and I didn’t check the clock,” He quickly added as the shiny bird looked up at the clock behind him. “And I found him asleep and before I could grab him and drag him, he grabbed me and manhandled me into this!” There was some sleepy mumbling from the night guard, making it sound like he was trying to make the tune of the music box before it developed into snoring and aimless babbling. “Just get him in the suit already.” Toy Chica seemed to ponder that order for half a second before she ran down the hall.

“Hey guys! You got to see how cute Mari is~! The night guard is using him like a pillow and it’s _soo_ cute!!” The Marionette groaned and wiped its face; 6AM wasn’t going to come fast enough, was it?

.

* * *

.

“Is he up yet?” Springtrap growled after he finished banging on the vent.

“No!” The phantom of BB yelled back. “Not even a stir!” Springtrap groaned loudly; he wanted to have that stupid guard to see him come and murder him, give him the final gaze the face of his murderer, get the joy of seeing light fade from his eyes. But no, Fritz had to be a total asshole and fall asleep. He was a walking corpse for fuck’s sake, how was Fritz not afraid for his life trapped in this hellhole!?

“Is Mangle still screaming at him?”

“Uh...well…?” That didn’t bode well. Springtrap sighed in annoyance.

“Well, what?”

“Um...Mangle’s sleeping on his lap…and PP’s looking like he’s gonna join too…” Phantom BB sighed to himself as he heard Springtrap’s yell from the other end of the location, throwing the best tantrum a rotting body in a rotting animatronic suit could. “Why’d we come back again?”


	4. Haikus: Parlourverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haikus inspired by the blog: fivenightsatfreddysfanfiction.tumblr.com and their universe.
> 
> Haikus are 5,7,5

....

**FNAF 1:**

I like Bear and Doll

Fuck Fuck Fucking Fucking Fuck

Fucking Hate that Bird

.

* * *

 .

**FNAF 2:**

New Look and New Bots

My father was innocent

Man I need a hug

.

* * *

 .

**FNAF 3:**

My Past Fucking Sucks

Ghosts Keep Haunting Me A  Lot

Go Burn Down Bunny!

.

* * *

 .

** FNAF 4 **

_Damien:_

Fuck Fucking Fuck Fuck

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Fuck Fucking FUCK FUCK

.

_Vincent:_

To save my good friend

Enter his Dreams and Save Them

There’s No Time Travel

.

* * *

 .

**Sister Location:**

This Family is weird

Is none a psychopath?

I’ll See Will in Court

.

* * *

.

** Pizzeria Simulator: **

Unlocking the Clues

Vin and Digi Should Kiss Soon

Already Married


	5. Haikus: Ryuko DragonHalf's AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Haikus, this time from ryukodragon.tumblr.com and her FNAF AU
> 
>  
> 
> Haikus are 5, 7, 5

....

**FNAF**

I do love my wife

My job, not so fucking much

I’m not a furry!

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF 2**

New Upgrades Galore!

Jeremy is really cute

Fritz is a moron

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF 3**

Really Spooky Bot

Faith is in over her head

Don't Piss Mikey Off

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF: Happy ‘87 AU**

Lives Are Spared In This

Not the Readers nor the Kids

Ryuko Loves Our Tears


	6. Haikus: My Personal AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haiku's based on my own personal AU of the FNAF-verse.

......

**FNAF:**

Mikey Watches Cams

Finds Outs Phone Guy Isn’t Dead

Murderer’s Here Now

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF 2:**

Murderer’s Still Here

Jere and Fritz Handle The Shift

The Past is Restless

 

_ Past _

Jere faces demons

Of His Brother and Robots

Gets Bit On the Head

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF 3:**

New Attraction’s Up

Fritz Butts Heads With The New Guy

Afton is Furry

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF 4:**

Effie’s Finds The Rooms

Awkward Meeting With Her Dad

Oh And Michael Too

 

_ Past _ :

Kids Witness Two Deaths

No Therapy Not At All

Kid’s Dead in A Week

.

* * *

 

.

**FNAF SL:**

Michael gets the scoop

More Kids Underground the Hell?!

Afton’s Still Furry

.

* * *

 

.

**FFPS:**

New Location’s Here

Uncovering Tragedy

Afton Tries Again (Mal’s Unhappy Clam)


	7. Fazbear's Diner Drabble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small dabble that develops into my take on the FNAF AU, starting with Fredbear's Diner.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I'm open to any suggestions for what I can call my own AU, to difference it from other AUs ^^

....

“1, 5, 7, 8, Baby.” The 6 year old repeated the code the men told her as she stood in front of the large animatronic clown. The red headed clown twitched slightly and her green eyes glowed as she looked at the 6 year old. A few moments later, the animatronic raised her hands and began to perform a song. 

“Excellent.” The 6 year old turned to see her father and the other man, Mr. Afton, entered the room. “She recognizes the vocal codes, and good job Effie,” The girl beamed as she bounced back and forth on her heels as her father looked at Mr. Afton. “Your thoughts?”

“The programming did seem to work, but it does some seem something was off,” The man looked at Effie. “Did anything seem off from last time?” Effie blinked slowly before looking at the animatronic.

“Um...well, she kinda did this thingy,” She mimicked the twitching motion of the animatronic. Both men exchanged glances. “But her singing sounds the same as yesterday…” Her father nodded simply.

“I see, well, Mr. Afton and I will check out Baby, so why don’t you head back upstairs and play with the others, alright?” Effie nodded and after giving her father a quick hug, she scurried out the room and the two adults waited till the pitter patter of feet was gone. “Well, it would be expected that there’s a mild twitch, considering there was one child in the room…but the coding worked enough…”

“Perhaps a controlled shock would allow the claw to slip back into place,” Effie’s father shrugged. 

“We’re already tight with the budget...we might not be able to cover up an electrical ‘incident’....”

“True...true...maybe we can alter the claw…” The men’s discussion was interrupted by screams and the inhuman sound of animatronic metal crushing human bones. “What the-” Both men paled.

“The springlocks!”


	8. Pokemon AU: Trio of Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trio of dabbles starring versions of the guards from both my own AU and the Parlourverse AU

...

**_You are challenged by Night Guard Mike!_ **

“Alright, go get ‘em Bulbasaur!” The dirty blond yelled as he tossed out his pokeball. The bald man called out his Squirtle and Mike couldn’t help but chuckle. “Grass beats water, man. Me and my Bulbasaur are going sweep the floor with you. Oh, maybe I’ll have enough to get the large slurpee before work.” The bald man raised an eyebrow. “What? Even with employee discount, Fazbear’s still expensive.” The pokemon nodded in agreement as the man and Squirtle exchanged looks.

“Wait, you work at Fuckboy’s too?” The battle ended quickly as the two humans, who had a laugh about being both named Mike, talked about their experiences working the night shift, their Pokemon having their own conversations regarding their master’s stubborn and debatable stupidity.

.

* * *

 

.

“Pan! Pancham!” 

“Lemme at that fucker!!” Jeremy watched as the other Jeremy’s Pokemon struggle to hold onto the man’s shirt as he and the other Pokemon, Jeremy’s own Pikachu, trying to help. “No robot chicken is going to catcall my ass and get away with it!!” Jeremy heard the giggling Toy Chica and sighed loudly; tonight was going to be a long night.

.

* * *

 

.

“Mimi…” 

“Raichu…”

“Butterfree…” The trio of Pokemon sighed in unison as they watched their trainers get into a bickering fight over how to handle the animatronic in the building. Mimikyu shook its head and picked up the tablet.

“Mi...mimikyu.” The Pokemon showed the tablet to the other two, showing the the rabbit itself was sitting in a corner, playing on a phone and not looking like it would be moving anytime soon. “Mi, mi, mi.”

“Chu…” The Raichu sighed and turned to the Butterfree and the two exchanged looks before the Butterfree sighed in defeat before motioning for the Raichu to do something. “Chu!” The Raichu charged up and sent a bolt towards the three, electrocuting the three. The fighting stopped for a few moments before it started up again, with the blame being on the Raichu’s trainer. All three Pokemon sweat dropped and let out a groan, so much for their plan.


	9. Personal AU: 1984 Based Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poem Inspired by the events that would take place in 1984/FNAF 4, Sister Location, and some parts of Pizzeria Simulator.

Two little children witness their deaths

Haunted by the terror and screams

To fix that problem, a father and a son create monsters

Face the demons, check the halls, they say, it will calm the nightmares

In the end, what is it that they had seen?

 

An Afton child, snuck away all alone

To visit the animatronic clown she adored

Jealous of her friend, yet unaware of each night

Impatient and curious, she took the bait

Party of 5, now becomes four

 

7 at his party, though he didn’t want to be there

To see the nightmares during the day, despite his brother’s ‘help’

A prank, a chance to feel superior goes wrong

At the party it cost one, but in the end took five

 

Years later, the surviving one returns,

Finds the 8 rooms that hid the horrors of the Fazbear name

Anger is restless, as is terror and fear

To appease the spirits, the experiments must be stopped

For an Afton son has kept the rituals going deep below ground


	10. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meera, Damien, and Ven, belonging to AvecPardon and the Parlourverse, have some interactions with Effie and my Michael Afton.
> 
> AKA: This idea wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it and post it, so enjoy :D

...

“Huh, douchey.” Damien frowned.

“Really, that’s all you can say?” He demanded as the other night guard shrugged absently.

“What do you want me to say, “Wow that sucks a lot” or “0/10 not enough trauma for kids”? I mean come on man,” She kicked a generator, it groaning to life reluctantly. “We’ve all gone through stuff because of the Fazbear brand. Some more traumatizing than others.” Damien frowned and opened his mouth. “Doesn’t make it any worse or better.” She sighed before tossing him a flashlight. “My dad used my fear of the animatronics as a way to test the audio and visual cues for the animatronics after the spring-lock failures. And that was after he had been using me as bait for the killer clown robot to make sure that it could lure kids in for him and Afton’s experiments.” She offered a lidded glare. “Maybe you and him can compare notes on the killing skills of your robots. Like a dick measuring contest, only stupider.” Damien was dumbfounded as he processed what she had said in such a dry and casual tone.

“W-What?” Effie looked at him with annoyance.

“My dad. Used me. As bait. For the stupid bots. When I was a kid. Cause. I. Listened. To. His. Instructions.” She scoffed as she looked back at the desk. “Unlike Elizabeth, but that’s a different thing and I doubt she’d be any less creepy alive, considering the household she lived with.” Damien stared in disbelief at the woman as she shuffle through the papers. “Afton’s kid, about a year older than me...spoiled and bossy shit…” She sighed. “None of this shit makes any sense...these blueprints aren’t for any Fazbear bot I know of….Here, look.” She handed the blueprints to him. “None of that’s my dad’s or Afton’s design.”

“It was designed by William Afton. It’s designed by an Afton”

“Yeah, but he was like 12, when all of this went down, before the other murders,” She argued. “‘Sides the dude’s a moron and an undead furry.” Damien looked at her in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?! Afton runs the Circus Baby Bullshit that Meera’s messing with. I mean he looks dead, but he isn’t dead!” Effie and Damien stared at each other for several moments before they finally spoke, realizing their situation.

“Shit.”

.

* * *

 

.

“You’re Eggs too?” Meera pursed her lips as the raisin-looking man chuckled. “You lucked out though…”

“I’ve got plenty of people to argue otherwise.” She said, noting that among the man’s bruising and pale skin were large scar marks, almost mimicking animatronic endoskeletons. “Those bitches are a pain aren’t they? Especially that bear.” The man chuckled.

“Yeah, always twitchy….” He sighed and looked at Meera. “My father wanted me to go in and free her...I thought he meant my sister, or my aunt…” He had a faraway look in his pale blue eyes. “But that wasn’t it….he wanted the one who had the codes to Baby...the one who survived.” 

“The codes?” Meera pressed and the man’s positioning seemed to change, a low hum emanating from the man as his eyes glazed over.

“Uh hmm…” He said, his voice strained. “Your pal’s counterpart, the nightmare guard’s counterpart, she knows the all; can shut them down, reboot them...activate the sound bytes….not that she is willing to talk about it...” The man looked at Meera, and Meera noticed a pale purple glow from the man’s eyes. “Tell her Danny says hello and she’ll spill it all.” The man was silent before his eyelids drooped and he slumped back into his chair, surprising the woman. She waited for a few moments before sighing in relief that she didn’t have to deal with a dead body as she heard snoring.

.

* * *

 

.

“Damnit Ven!” 

“What?!” Damien stared at his friend in disbelief as Meera was trying to calm the panicking Effie as she kept crying and telling ‘Mikey’ that he needed to look away and that she was sorry, clearing in another mindspace.

“You don’t tell someone who’s freaking out to calm down! That is the exact opposite of what you do!” Ven raised his hands.

“I don’t know how to deal with people freaking out!”

“Clearly.” Meera grumbled as she rubbed Effie’s back, the woman seeming to come back from where she was. “You alright now?” Effie was quiet for a few moments before shaking her head.

“Sorry ‘bout that...kinda slipped back to 83…” She forced a chuckle. “Danny was one of the suit actors...part of the spring-lock accident…I had pulled Mikey into the safe room to help him get away from his brother….”

“And you witnessed the accident.” Damien finished and Effie nodded reluctantly. “Which led to what you told me earlier.” Effie shrugged absently.

“They claimed that it would help us get over the trauma. Then of course Will had to murder his brother...well, the Will I know…” She exchanged looks with everyone. “Maybe we should compare notes on the bullshit we’re going through...cause this might get a little confusing.”

“You think?” Damien grumbled.


	11. Purples and the Parlourverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So still working out the details of my AU (which decided that apparently three of the main characters/games no longer were going to be 'real'), but luckily I was able to work out two drabbles with my Purple Guys interacting with AvecPardon's/Parlourverse's AU

...

“Tch, what a mess. But what can you do.” Mike heard the muffled voice of a woman as he was roughly grabbed by his collar as he was dragged and shoved to the cold hard floor of the pizzeria. “Better not be any biohazard shit; I get enough during the afternoon rush, Schmidt.” Mike struggled to undo his bindings and make it back to his feet, or at least get the stupid Freddy Mask off his face and let him breathe something other than stale bear fun fur. “You seem taller than last night though,” Mike cursed as he was prodded by the end of a broom. “And that’s not the security….Oh!” Mike paled as he heard the female voice perk up. “You’re not the little shit….I’ll have to check the parts room, but this could be beneficial…” He heard the footsteps walk away as Mike managed to free himself from the head. He sat up and looked around, realizing that this wasn’t the pizzeria he worked at.

“Ah shit….” He muttered. “Just what I needed today…”   


“Well, no one is in the parts and service, so this is just making things lovely for me to blow off some steam~” The woman purred as she returned. “Now, you get a special choice; Quick or Slow.” Mike managed to free his hands.   


“What the fuck are you talking about bitch!?” The woman merely made a tick sound as she leaned on her broom.   


“See, this is why I don’t offer the choice;” Her face darkened as her smile grew wickedly. “Nobody chooses and it’s left to me.” Mike paled slightly.   


“W-Wha-” He barely managed out as the woman lifted the broom pole and swung for Mike’s head, wood connecting with the bald man’s skull. Mike face planted to the floor as the woman struck him again, laughing. 

“Come on there Baldy! Give the old girl something more to work with here!” She laughed wickedly. “You’re making those shitstains look like actual fighters when I kill-” There was loud buzzing in Mike’s ears as things faded to black as his ‘guardian’ took over.

.

* * *

 

.

“Simple, Kiddo!” William said light-heartedly as he rather roughly grabbed the shoulders of the the smaller brown haired Fitzgerald. “I just need you to take a look here at the main band here,” He gestured to Bonnie, Freddy, and Chica, “While I hande some managerial stuff in the back-boring old paperwork honestly-and then I’ll come back and help ya out!” Jeremy opened his mouth and the man laughed. “And don’tcha worry about them moving on ya; it’s the daylight, so they aren’t going to move unless an earthquake hits.” He patted Jeremy, nearly sending him stumbling to floor. “Just don’t go sticking your head in their mouths!” he said, walking back to the office. “That would be just tempting fate!” Jeremy winced as he heard the hoarse laughter fade as the man walked off before looking at the animatronics, their lifeless eyes and slack jaw mouths not helping the young man feel any more at ease. Jeremy let out a slow sigh as he slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his red tinted glasses; he was not doing anything near the animatronics before seeing if the kids were there first. He looked at the trio of animatronics before he froze, hearing a low hum emit from the animatronics as all three heads snapped to look at the young man. “Alright now…” William mused as he looked through the cameras in the animatronic’s eyes from the tablet he had in his hands. “Let’s see how quick this Fitzgerald learns.” He punched in a series of codes before taking one last look at Jeremy’s fearful face, making the much older man smiled gleefully. “Activate 4/20 mode. Leave no evidence of the kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> This has nothing to do with my similarly titled work on Fanfiction.net :D


End file.
